Victoria

It's about time for an update. Either that or I'm extrememly bored, lonely, and there's nothing else to do. Either option works.

I have a ton to do today, and for once, I'm not dreading that. I'm actually anxious to get started, so I'm sitting here doing this and that, checking and rechecking crappy facebook apps in utter boredom. However, on the bright side, I have my whole day planned out already! SCORE.

School is going well. I'm looking forward to getting to class. Mainly my Monday/Wednesday/Friday classes are exciting. Biology is so freaking interesting, and the professor is funny, and then there's of course my Phonetics course and my Grammar course with Dr. Holloway, and anyone who knows me well knows that anytime I leave those classes all I want to do is ramble on about what I've learned. I feel like I'd be so much more productive if I stay on this schedule, but I know very few people who are up by 2 am and sleep in the afternoons, so I fear it would be as lonely as this morning has been.

I feel like I'm missing something. I know I am, and it sucks so hard. So here goes another round of months waiting...It's always worth the wait. But I miss you. =(

I always miss you.

-sigh-

So here is today's lineup:
Starbucks - get coffee and a scone (because scones are the best thing to happen to the modern worlddddd) 7:30
Bookstore - get Grammar book; buy a t-shirt because I'm sick of the same old shirts 8:00
Move car to decent parking 8:30
Go to Lab to do homework and waste time
Go to class - 9:00 to 12:00
Go to work - Fix worker schedules, turn in to Rubio, start Lab hours, etc.

I'm sure there's more to add, but then I really do just like making schedules and to-do lists. >_

I guess I should update this...hmmmm. What to say??

OH! Iggy is here, as her journals have indicated. It's like she never left, which is pretty amazing because it is just so natural to have her here. We've been super lazy about Christmas, and have YET to put up the tree. Wtf...

Christmas fail.

We went to go see the lights last night, but alas...society has even gotten too lazy to put up lights! Which makes me want to slap them. It was sad. BUT! It did lead to us going to see Avatar in our boredom, and despite my apathy toward sci-fi-ness, I seriously thought it was one of the best movies I've yet to EVER see.

It makes me all tingly awaiting all the amazing movies coming up.

I've put rp on a back burner as I think ALL the rest of the rp world has for the holidays. SS has so far exceeded my expectations, and is such a calm retreat that I actually don't get anxious to sign on! Not to toot my own horn, as Iggy giggles when I say...but I'm really enjoying it. It makes me happy that I pulled this off with some form of success.

So...Not much that is new going on. Christmas in 3 days, and still no tree in the living room. Time to crack down and do this.

Now only if I can get Iggy up from reading...Hmmmmm

I am regretting staying up all night. Making graphics in paint pixel by pixel was not a smart idea for an all night activity. I think I burned my eyes out and am probably shaking because either a truck and trailer tried to kill me this morning or the fact that I'm on no sleep. Baaad. Tomorrow is going to be interesting with all these applications due plus the paintings that I've had a month to do and waited until the night before to do it. Go me.

I really hate painting.

And my poor sense of decisions. Argh.

At least staying up all night is wonderfully worth it.


I hope drama calms down soon. I'm almost in the mood to peek back out for a while. Almost

Two and a quarter days later...Four migraines to pay for it all. A very helpful best best friend later...and I have completed my board.

It all started as a faint idea some time back while desperately hoping for a game to bring a couple of characters to, and one night of sudden inspiration and it all just sort of fell together. I'm extremely happy with the results, and couldn't have done it without Iggy!!

So.

I introduce Solemnly Sworn, a dark Marauder-Era game. You can check it out at Solemnly_Sworn. Now accepting holds!

-squee- ^_^

So I guess I should start updating this more.

All I can say today is that I have a fever, though I'm not sure why it's there because I feel fine other than being chilled and dealing with this cold sweat. I am overworked, and definitely underpaid, and it's slowly wearing on me. I need to learn to delegate more often because I have this problem of feeling like if I don't do something it won't get done. And then I only apply that to my social life instead of my professional life at school, because be damned if I'm getting anything productive done, really. That is, unless it pertains to a board. Then I'm semi-productive.

Then I look around myself and laugh at people who are driving themselves nuts in these make believe worlds, and hope I'm not getting sucked into that endless black hole.

And even so, I sit back and realize I'm updating my CDJ in a history cass that I should be taking notes, so that doesn't bode well for me, unless I blame the insanity on the fact that I am indeed feverish.

I hope so!

I dreamed last night that I was getting married. Oh god. I had all these people around me helping me get ready, fixing my hair with a tiara and sticking in the veil. It was very weird. Mostly because in my dream I had loooooong strawberry red hair. How odd.

Tonight I may take a break from everything and just SLEEP. Again. Like I'm not getting enough. I've barely even had time to talk to people or keep others company, which is really for my own enjoyment, all night. I feel like the energy has been beaten out of me, and I think the only way to replace it is to sleep 14 hours a day or possibly load up on energy pills. Neither of these are very healthy, so which poison is the worse poison?

Idk. I'm sleepy and sick and I want to cuddle up under the covers and not come out for a few months. Yes...That would be lovely.

I hate being bullied.

( Read more... )

Duuuuuude. I'm so super behind on everything. Ack. I took the weekend off for a road trip which was WAY worth it. I feel so much more refreshed. Last week was hard, and I didn't know that I'd get through it all, but I did, and seeing friends and chilling in the cool Texas sun for a whole weekend in the outdoors made everything so much better.

There's so much going on in my life right now that I can hardly keep up, but it's not all bad. In fact, some of it is pretty amazing. The last few months have put a damper on my confidence. I lost a bit of who I was as a writer, and it's taken me some time to build back up to where I was. It's getting there, but I still have moments of utter doubt and lack of self esteem. I am on two boards right now that are FULL of wonderful writers, and I'm excited to be forced to put myself out there again. At first I doubted whether to join another board after what happened with Crack, but I'm very glad I jumped back in before I let myself completely back off.

I have hope for a lot of things. But with that hope comes the same lingering fear that everything will just crumble from beneath me. I just need to find my confidence again and remember that nothing has changed except to change for the better.

VERY INCOMPLETE
Who: Emmeline Vance/Sirius Black; Emmeline's POV
What: Making a memory
When: 15 years, 7 months, and counting
Rating/Disclaimer: R for sexual material/As always, I do not own any or all of J.K. Rowling's characters, and only use them for my dark pleasure and evil-ness. Bwaha

Remember all the things we wanted.
Now all our memories they're haunted.
We were always meant to say goodbye.
Even with our fists held high.
It never would have worked out right.
( We were never meant for do or die )

Chrinus [2:40 A.M.]: TEDDY HAS HIS DINOSAUR BACK
Chrinus [2:40 A.M.]: GOd i miss playing him like this XD!
WilsonVE [2:40 A.M.]: o_o
Chrinus (12:40:05 AM): (...Teddy accidentally, somehow, mixed up DNA samples. He was trying to help prevent the extinction of a species that was imperative to a local group for their healing abilities, and instead, brought back a dinosaur)
Chrinus (12:40:36 AM): (Which they didnt' realize, until suddenly the dinosaur was rampaging through the village, and Scorpius and Teddy had to capture it. And they decided to keep it and raise it as their own *nods*)
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: Originally Martin (the dinosaur) was a gift from Gellert Grindelwald in another game...but yeah
WilsonVE [2:41 A.M.]: lol!!!
WilsonVE [2:41 A.M.]: Oh man
WilsonVE [2:41 A.M.]: Evan is like o_O
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: LMFAO
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: Teddy is like "Fuck off, or I'll feed yout o to dinosaur"
WilsonVE [2:41 A.M.]: ...
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: *to the
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: dude....it's truly the best way to defend a place
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: imagine if someone tried to storm sanctuary looking for an enemy
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: and suddenly
Chrinus [2:41 A.M.]: there's a dinosaur
Chrinus [2:42 A.M.]: chasing your ass
Chrinus [2:42 A.M.]: "RAAAWR"
WilsonVE [2:42 A.M.]: LMAO
Chrinus [2:42 A.M.]: Teddy: "MARTIN! KILL!"

( Audition piece for Cassia Vance at Between_Worlds )

( My super html experiment for layouts )

Time for a real post. Not those sissy little one liner things that pretend to be posts. So...yeah.

Yesterday was probably the worst day EVER in my rp lifetime. I feel that I have contradicted my own words when I told someone that online life was for when your real social life was disappointing. Or maybe I was just mistaken when I assumed the point of belonging to these rp communities was to write. To take your ideas and do something with them that expresses an art. That is what writing and rping is to me. It is a form of art. And though I am the worst for getting attached to my characters and what they are involved in, I try to remember that this isn't a matter of extending yourself socially through a fake person. So why are there all these cliques? Why do some people look down on playing with others? We all have our styles, and we all have our preferences, but the point isn't to make someone feel exiled in the process.

But then, I look at truly functioning communities and how easy it is for everyone to write together and to accept ALL players. And I am even more thankful that those people are around to make the rp world worth coming back to. Those are the mature people, and the ones I love being friends with. And you all know who you are.

So...Yesterday I felt guilty for acting the way I did. But today, I realize I did the right thing by removing myself from the situation, because I would rather give up writing opportunities than be in the middle of drama. The minute playing a character becomes unenjoyable and emotionally taxing to play is the minute they are no longer worth putting yourself through the mud to play. I took a stand, and though it is not the most comfortable situation to be in, I am glad I did it. Drama whores can take their insecurities and stay amongst themselves. I am not allowing myself near that circle.

So that's my positive spin on everything. It feels almost refreshing now that the weight has been lifted and to see that we all came out of it alive and are moving on.

( So. Moving on from the make believe world in my head... )

Really RP world? Really?? Grow up.

See...I can't even be mean in my CDJ.

Ughhh.

Diverting anger now. Moving on.

( Sample Icons - Megan Fox: Set One></center> <img src= )

Gaaah. What is wrong with me lately? I totally do not want to go to class. I've skipped more than I ever have recently. It's driving me nuts, but I feel so freaking anxious about going. I'm still doing really well...it just sucksss. Blah

I'm so mad I just want to cry.

Ok...Next week? Has to be better than this week. First of the semester sickness sucks so hard.

On a better note...I have three apps in the process. You'd think getting busier at school would make me want to NOT add more online-ness. But really it makes me want to be here even more. Something about fake-peoples is just so stress-free that it's too tempting to pass up.

For the record...I have loved many games...but I think I have to add Consecro to the top of my list. If you aren't a player on it, you should be. Everyone is so nice and is willing to play and plot and it is like rp heaven?

Plus...Zoe is amazing and must be worshipped. Yes?

Backing up. The apps I have in process are Kallistrate, who I submitted this week, Emmeline at Consecro who excites me terribly...And whose PSL with SOMEONE'S Sirius is probably the worst and most amazing thing to ever happen to her? And then this third mystery character who I have not completely figured out...but need a PB for.

I hate searching for PB's. >_<

And lastly...I'm thinking of dropping Emmeline at Crack for the sheer fact that she really has nothing to be doing anymore aside from causing amazing gossip. I am sort of sad to drop her, but with a muse like Kallistrate, she's really taking a back burner anway. Sighh. Oh well. Sometimes it is just necessary for the sake of better plot.

For those interested, here is my schedule for this semester so people can be informed of my time constraints.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday:
Geography 102....................................8:00-8:50
History of Modern Latin America..................10:00-10:50
Culture and Civ of Mexico........................11:00-11:50

Tuesday and Thursday:
Nature of Math...................................12:30-1:45
Art (Crafts).....................................2:00-3:15
Hispanic Literature of the US....................4:00-5:15

Because I am a horrible mun!!

June 16, 1954.......Conall Maher.....(NCF)
August 07, 1961.....Delia Avery......(Consecro)
August 11, 1967.....Emmeline Vance...(Crack)
October 24, 1959....Evan Rosier......(All)
October 30, 1959....Delia Avery......(NCF)

Aaaand so I can keep up with important peoples!! (Not to say that if your character isn't on this list you aren't important, but perhaps that they haven't encountered plot with my own yet.)

Consecro:
June 6........Albus Potter
July 30.......Sally Anne Perks
August 3......Stephen Mulciber
October 31....Gellert Grindelwald
November 6....Antonin Dolohov
November 7....Thursday Montague
December 13...Tracey Davis
December 31...Tom Riddle

Crack It Up:
May 20........Izzy Chambers
May 20........Liam Chambers
June 18.......Regulus Black
August 3......Stephen Mulciber
November 6....Antonin Dolohov